Figuring it out

We finally were able to afford a gym membership with California Family Fitness. We have been going for three weeks, and I have lost 12 pounds.  I am using a handy app on my phone that helps me log all of my calories and exercising.  Of course, watching our diet and portions has helped a lot.  I have cut out the Starbucks (EEEK!) and the Vodka (GASP!).  I am feeling great, and keeping motivated to go even further.  Now to just move forward and keep going in the right direction.

In other news, my daughter has a slight cold.  I am off work the next few days to stay at home and be a mama.  I love it.  I wish I could stay with her every day.  I am sure she would love that too.  I am sure the dog would love to be home with people every day instead of alone with the cat.

I also recently started a second “job” as a Passion Parties independent sales consultant.  This second job is totally fun, and probably shouldn’t even be called a job.  I love it.  I am still building my business, and waiting for the day it can become a full-time job.  I have met so many interesting women, heard great stories, and helped women experience themselves for the first time.  It’s been great.

My life is headed in the right direction, I am just waiting to figure out what my next moves are going to be.  I am praying daily for a sign as to what my next move needs to be.  I am thankful for what we have, and I am excited to see what the future brings for my family.  Now to just keep moving in the right direction.

Advertisements

This just isn’t working anymore

I have been lazy, I have been trying to accept my curves thinking that they just aren’t going anywhere. I have done workouts with zero or negative results. It just isn’t working, but I don’t want to give up.

203 lbs. 67″ tall. I can’t keep doing this. Where do I find motivation. I think 190 is going to be my mini goal. Maybe at 190 I will buy myself a little treat. An awesome pair of shoes, a new handbag.

I ask my readers. Where do you find inspiration and motivation to work out. Especially if you live in a house with the completely unmotivated who just doesn’t want to work out with you?

I want my husband support, and he wants to work out more than I do. But when you have no money, it’s hard to convince him he doesn’t need a gym.

HELP!!!!!

A New Recipe

So, I was browsing the book, and found another recipe, which I changed up a bit, and it is amazingly good, makes a ton, and can be frozen for those lazy days.

  • 1 Can Low Sodium Black Beans (Drained)
  • 1 Can Low Sodium Pinto Beans (Drained)
  • 1 Can Tomatoes and Bell Peppers
  • 1 Bag Frozen Corn
  • A Dash of Chili Powder
  • A Dash of Tabasco Sauce
  • 1 lb Ground Turkey Cooked
  • Onions

Cook the turkey with the onions, then combine all ingredients in the crock pot, cook on low for four hours.

The recipe in the book is a lot different, so I modified it quite a bit.  It called for a can of corn and a table-spoon of sugar vs my bag of corn which is a larger quantity of corn.  Instead of the black and pinto beans, it called for kidney beans.  So needless to say, I changed it up based on what I have in the pantry.  🙂  My husband loves the meal, and it was good for three nights worth of dinner, plus a lunch for me.  Now I am making it again to freeze for the lazy days.  We made burritos’ one night, nachos another night, and tacos.  A friend even suggested putting corn bread mix on it while cooking, which I don’t have any of that, so needless to say, it isn’t getting done.

On the diet update, I haven’t lost any weight, but I haven’t been trying as much as I have promised myself.  We ate at home a lot this week, but work has been slow so my daily walking around the big box store isn’t happening as much as usual.  It has also been storming here so I haven’t had the ability to walk around the neighborhood.  At the same time, I haven’t gained any, so it’s somewhat of a wash.  The eating healthier and the lack of physical activities has evened out.  I have lost a few millimeters centimeters off the hips, which did get me into my skinny self/pre-pregnancy jeans, which I am excited about.

I tend to eat the same way over and over and over again, and no matter how much I exercise, I still manage to gain weight.  I have actually lost a fraction of a pound over the last week, so it is truly a move in the right direction. I took an hour out of my day today to prepare meals for the week to make eating healthy at home easier and more appealing, as well as cut up cucumbers, celery, and carrots as easy grab-n-go snacks, to avoid buying a snickers bar or a bag of chips.

Eating healthy isn’t just a way of eating, it is a whole lifestyle change that takes time, effort, and commitment to do the things you need to do to continue eating healthy   You can’t eat healthy and be lazy, because if you are lazy, you will want to go through the drive through instead of make a leaner burger at home.  I know I keep talking about all of this, mostly trying to embed it into my own head, because I am not showing much of a change.  Maybe I will start posting pictures for all of my readers to see.  I have been shrinking, and I have a flatter tummy today than I have in years, just the scale doesn’t show the same thing.

Note to self: More Water!!!  I think I am retaining water thus causing the scale to reflect a heavier weight.

The diet update, one month on Noom

So, I have been using the Noom app for about a month now, and without modifying my eating habits, exercising habits, just keeping an eye on what I am eating so that I know how bad it really is for me, and keeping an eye on my daily life, seeing how many calories I burn in my day-to-day life without trying, I have actually lost five pounds.  I think now I will start actually watching what I eat, and trying to increase my daily step count so that I can lose even more, and quicker.  We have still been eating highly unhealthy foods, as my husband “isn’t motivated to diet since he can’t afford a gym membership.”  I was actually planning on talking to him tonight about what I blogged previously.  It isn’t about losing weight, it is about a healthier lifestyle all together, diet, activity, heart health, and living longer so we can have more time with our daughter.

Don’t get me wrong, we both aren’t the picture perfect specimen of whatever, but we aren’t rolling down the block like bowling balls either.  We both need to quit being lazy with our diet.  I know I have been blogging about this for a few weeks now, and since I didn’t change my lifestyle at all, I just kept an eye on what I do and my habits, so I know where I can make some changes, I feel I can try to lose  some weight, and not have to spend hours a day at the gym.  So here is my next goal.

For the next month, I want to lose another five pounds in the next month.  In order to do this, I will drink less coffee and soda, and more water and tea.  If coffee is a must, I want to skip the latte and brew my own at home.   I will make at least three healthy dinners a week, versus our incredibly yummy and ever so cheesy nachos.  I know I have spouted all of this before, but now that I have just observed myself for a month, I think I will be more successful in the future.

Here goes nothing.

Gourmet meals with time to spare.

So many evenings, so little time.  So many mom’s and dad’s work full-time and have to come home to spend another hour on a decent meal.  I have been trying to figure out ways to eat healthier, but not spend half my evening at home cooking.  After all, I hate cooking, and I hate cleaning up after it even more.

My solution, the Crock Pot!  I purchased a crock pot recipe book that was a combination of multiple books brought together.  It has everything from beverages to desserts, healthy eating to game day favorites. I am excited because there are several healthy eating recipes that are easy to make.

I was looking at just getting the healthy version of the book, but then I decided, sometimes a girl needs a good comfort food of chili, lasagna  or whatever comfort foods the bigger book had, for not much more money, so I got the full book. We are talking about 1400 slow cooker recipes, anything you can think of, it’s in this book.  I really like how the index is organized, and the Light recipes are clearly labeled and easy to distinguish.  

I will try out the recipes and share them here as I try them, and let you know what I think, any modifications I’ve made, and any tips and tricks I think you might want to know.  After all, recipes are not a law of cooking for the most part, we will all change it up to our own tastes.  Like for one, I am not too big on artificial seasonings, so I will probably exclude them, and try my own flavorings.

Note: I have decided to do this because hey, my most popular posts are all about food and recipes. And since I am not a big cooker, great meals that take minimal prep and baby sitting are just the right recipe for me and my lifestyle. 

Sick Baby = Sick Day

I have a sick baby at home, which means I have a sick day at work!  It is making me want to stay home with her forever.    She is acting totally normal, like her happy little self.  She is coughing quite a bit and sneezing with a runny little nose.  I want to stay home with her forever, because she is my little precious girl, and I want to keep her out of school where she also could have caught something not only this time, but in the future as well.

On a semi-side note, I have been battling postpartum, and it has turned into this feeling of not wanting to leave her.  It is so weird, and a change from my previous feelings of wanting time apart from her.  Now, especially since she is growing so much and so fast, that by leaving her at school, I am going to miss all of her milestones.  It makes me want to be with her every single day, so that I don’t miss any part of her life and her development.  I was so happy yesterday that she rolled over for the first time by herself, and I was home to be with her.  I am so happy I didn’t miss it.  My husband is a little bummed he missed it, but I took some pictures and sent them to him,  so that he could at least share the moment from work.

I don’t know how I would feel if I missed her first steps or her first stab at crawling, just because I had to work in order to keep our debt on a downward trend.  I know I could quit work, but I am working for a few reasons.  So we can keep with somewhat of a lifestyle that we are used to, and so we can pay off our debt quicker.  As much as I want to stay home with her and never return to work, I know the consequences is a much higher debt for a much longer time frame, and I would rather pay that down for another year.

I wish there was a way I could figure out how to make money with my many blogs, or even finish my book and get it published.  My career of choice is one I can easily do from home, the only bad thing is, with the economy in its current state doesn’t provide for the client pool that I would need in order to afford working from home.  For some reason, when the economy tanks, people are not spending as much money on Kitchen and Bath Designers, or Interior Designers for that matter.  So now, I am here, blogging away and not at work.

I am sure I am not alone, I am sure there are other working mom’s who find that paying off debt is vital.  I want to be able to afford to give her things she wants, and needs, and not have to scrape the bottom of the barrel, and raid the couch for change, in order to afford diapers and stuff like that.  If I stayed home, that is all I could do, because we would have to sell my car to pay off some of the alleged debt, and avoid insurance gas and maintenance charges.  As much as I want to stay home with her, I think it will be better for her in the long run for me to work another year…and just hope she keeps doing her little milestones at home!

Adjusting to Motherhood

I have been a mom for four months now, and I will say, it is a definite adjustment.  It is very hard to get used to, and I have been having some trouble adjusting.  I have thought it was me, that I was selfish, that I am not cut out for this job.  I have been wondering what is wrong with me.  I have wanted a child for so long, and love having her, holding her, playing with her, and being with her, but at the same time, the adjustment is killing me.  I wonder if I am alone, I wonder if this adjustment period is hard on other women too?  I wonder if I am going to be an awful mom, or if I am going to a great mom, and this feeling I have eating me away inside effects other women.

Deep down, I know I am a good mom.  I love my daughter unconditionally.  I know I get frustrated when the sleepless nights are stacking up and there is no relief in sight, but in the end, I still hold her close and we fall asleep together on the couch.  I have been vomited on, peed and poo’d on, and it doesn’t bother me.  I just keep going.  I have held her close during her shots, and kissed her little boo-boo’s.

I have been doing research, and I have found that I am not alone.  This adjustment period happens to a lot of women, not just me.  This feeling of being completely overwhelmed happens to the best of them. Women all over the world experience this, and there are a lot of options out there for women, and support groups.  One helpful site I have found: Postpartum Progress

I won’t let this feeling I have inside, this anxiety of motherhood, this desire to run away from my life, inhibit my ability to be the best mom I can be.  There is help out there for women who feel this way.  There is help out there for women who feel that maybe they bit off more than they can chew in their new road to motherhood, or adding an additional member to their family.  There are a lot of symptoms to Postpartum Depression, and there is also a lot of ideas and ways to help.  Since I don’t want to take the easy way out, and just go directly on medication, I am going to start journaling both privately, as well as on this blog.  I want to feel like myself again, and journaling has helped me in the past with previous cases of depression, so I am hoping that it will help me again with this case.

This is a process, this is a move in the right direction, and I hope that I get from this process what I need.