New Diamond Ring? OK!
Ok, so don’t get me wrong. I love my wedding ring. But I also love this ring.
So, I have been using the Noom app for about a month now, and without modifying my eating habits, exercising habits, just keeping an eye on what I am eating so that I know how bad it really is for me, and keeping an eye on my daily life, seeing how many calories I burn in my day-to-day life without trying, I have actually lost five pounds. I think now I will start actually watching what I eat, and trying to increase my daily step count so that I can lose even more, and quicker. We have still been eating highly unhealthy foods, as my husband “isn’t motivated to diet since he can’t afford a gym membership.” I was actually planning on talking to him tonight about what I blogged previously. It isn’t about losing weight, it is about a healthier lifestyle all together, diet, activity, heart health, and living longer so we can have more time with our daughter.
Don’t get me wrong, we both aren’t the picture perfect specimen of whatever, but we aren’t rolling down the block like bowling balls either. We both need to quit being lazy with our diet. I know I have been blogging about this for a few weeks now, and since I didn’t change my lifestyle at all, I just kept an eye on what I do and my habits, so I know where I can make some changes, I feel I can try to lose some weight, and not have to spend hours a day at the gym. So here is my next goal.
For the next month, I want to lose another five pounds in the next month. In order to do this, I will drink less coffee and soda, and more water and tea. If coffee is a must, I want to skip the latte and brew my own at home. I will make at least three healthy dinners a week, versus our incredibly yummy and ever so cheesy nachos. I know I have spouted all of this before, but now that I have just observed myself for a month, I think I will be more successful in the future.
Here goes nothing.
I have been a mom for four months now, and I will say, it is a definite adjustment. It is very hard to get used to, and I have been having some trouble adjusting. I have thought it was me, that I was selfish, that I am not cut out for this job. I have been wondering what is wrong with me. I have wanted a child for so long, and love having her, holding her, playing with her, and being with her, but at the same time, the adjustment is killing me. I wonder if I am alone, I wonder if this adjustment period is hard on other women too? I wonder if I am going to be an awful mom, or if I am going to a great mom, and this feeling I have eating me away inside effects other women.
Deep down, I know I am a good mom. I love my daughter unconditionally. I know I get frustrated when the sleepless nights are stacking up and there is no relief in sight, but in the end, I still hold her close and we fall asleep together on the couch. I have been vomited on, peed and poo’d on, and it doesn’t bother me. I just keep going. I have held her close during her shots, and kissed her little boo-boo’s.
I have been doing research, and I have found that I am not alone. This adjustment period happens to a lot of women, not just me. This feeling of being completely overwhelmed happens to the best of them. Women all over the world experience this, and there are a lot of options out there for women, and support groups. One helpful site I have found: Postpartum Progress
I won’t let this feeling I have inside, this anxiety of motherhood, this desire to run away from my life, inhibit my ability to be the best mom I can be. There is help out there for women who feel this way. There is help out there for women who feel that maybe they bit off more than they can chew in their new road to motherhood, or adding an additional member to their family. There are a lot of symptoms to Postpartum Depression, and there is also a lot of ideas and ways to help. Since I don’t want to take the easy way out, and just go directly on medication, I am going to start journaling both privately, as well as on this blog. I want to feel like myself again, and journaling has helped me in the past with previous cases of depression, so I am hoping that it will help me again with this case.
This is a process, this is a move in the right direction, and I hope that I get from this process what I need.
Every once in a while, I will find a graphic on this world wide web that rings oh so true in the world of me. I found this lovely graphic on the world of Pinterest that is so true to my blogging life. A lot of people I know have this room in their house that is rarely visited, that is dubbed the “Guest Room/Home Office.” Now honestly folks, who actually uses that room for the office? I have one, but the bills are paid on the kitchen table, the blogging is done from the sofa, and many of my ideas come to me in the middle of the night, from the comforts of my bed. So no, the office isn’t the only working space in the house, the whole house is the office.
I can’t tell you even how many times an idea has struck me in the shower, and I hop out, dripping wet, and grab the WordPress App on my smart phone just to make a quick draft to remind myself of my idea later.
I am calling this “The Secret Life of a Blogger” because I know I am not alone. I am sure the rest of the blog world is with me, in the fact that their entire home is taken over by their office space, their ideas come to them, even in the most inconvenient times, like the shower, and they are always working….even when they try to turn it off. The creator of this graphic, DesignLoveFest.com, has a great blog entry about just this!
Working at home, blogging during naps, these are the days!