Burning Daylight

Today is the first day of my first vacation since maternity leave. I am hoping to put vacation to good use. Working out, eating better, etc. I have been on a diet (calorie and portion watching) for two weeks. So far so good. Without working out I have still lost five pounds.

We will see how it goes I suppose.

Since my last post, I am down a dress size, so things have still been going well. My daughter is nearly two years old and growing like a weed. She is getting so big its depressing.

Either way, lets get this party started! ♥

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Figuring it out

We finally were able to afford a gym membership with California Family Fitness. We have been going for three weeks, and I have lost 12 pounds.  I am using a handy app on my phone that helps me log all of my calories and exercising.  Of course, watching our diet and portions has helped a lot.  I have cut out the Starbucks (EEEK!) and the Vodka (GASP!).  I am feeling great, and keeping motivated to go even further.  Now to just move forward and keep going in the right direction.

In other news, my daughter has a slight cold.  I am off work the next few days to stay at home and be a mama.  I love it.  I wish I could stay with her every day.  I am sure she would love that too.  I am sure the dog would love to be home with people every day instead of alone with the cat.

I also recently started a second “job” as a Passion Parties independent sales consultant.  This second job is totally fun, and probably shouldn’t even be called a job.  I love it.  I am still building my business, and waiting for the day it can become a full-time job.  I have met so many interesting women, heard great stories, and helped women experience themselves for the first time.  It’s been great.

My life is headed in the right direction, I am just waiting to figure out what my next moves are going to be.  I am praying daily for a sign as to what my next move needs to be.  I am thankful for what we have, and I am excited to see what the future brings for my family.  Now to just keep moving in the right direction.

The diet update, one month on Noom

So, I have been using the Noom app for about a month now, and without modifying my eating habits, exercising habits, just keeping an eye on what I am eating so that I know how bad it really is for me, and keeping an eye on my daily life, seeing how many calories I burn in my day-to-day life without trying, I have actually lost five pounds.  I think now I will start actually watching what I eat, and trying to increase my daily step count so that I can lose even more, and quicker.  We have still been eating highly unhealthy foods, as my husband “isn’t motivated to diet since he can’t afford a gym membership.”  I was actually planning on talking to him tonight about what I blogged previously.  It isn’t about losing weight, it is about a healthier lifestyle all together, diet, activity, heart health, and living longer so we can have more time with our daughter.

Don’t get me wrong, we both aren’t the picture perfect specimen of whatever, but we aren’t rolling down the block like bowling balls either.  We both need to quit being lazy with our diet.  I know I have been blogging about this for a few weeks now, and since I didn’t change my lifestyle at all, I just kept an eye on what I do and my habits, so I know where I can make some changes, I feel I can try to lose  some weight, and not have to spend hours a day at the gym.  So here is my next goal.

For the next month, I want to lose another five pounds in the next month.  In order to do this, I will drink less coffee and soda, and more water and tea.  If coffee is a must, I want to skip the latte and brew my own at home.   I will make at least three healthy dinners a week, versus our incredibly yummy and ever so cheesy nachos.  I know I have spouted all of this before, but now that I have just observed myself for a month, I think I will be more successful in the future.

Here goes nothing.

Red and Black Look

When I want to go out on a casual date with my husband, I like to look good, but don’t want to overdress the occasion.  I love these skinny jeans with some pre-worn accents.  I also love the shirt, with the ever so flattering rouching and asymmetrical cut.  The jacket is amazing, and of course, the shoes are gorgeous.  I love this look for a fun Friday night date of Dinner and mini golf!

For a girl with my shape, the KAMILAH top by Ted Baker is a must.  The rouching hides the roles, and the top is long enough to sit on the hips.  The detail in the upper portion of the shirt will help hold the attention of onlookers up, instead of allowing them to focus on the mid section.

Adjusting to Motherhood

I have been a mom for four months now, and I will say, it is a definite adjustment.  It is very hard to get used to, and I have been having some trouble adjusting.  I have thought it was me, that I was selfish, that I am not cut out for this job.  I have been wondering what is wrong with me.  I have wanted a child for so long, and love having her, holding her, playing with her, and being with her, but at the same time, the adjustment is killing me.  I wonder if I am alone, I wonder if this adjustment period is hard on other women too?  I wonder if I am going to be an awful mom, or if I am going to a great mom, and this feeling I have eating me away inside effects other women.

Deep down, I know I am a good mom.  I love my daughter unconditionally.  I know I get frustrated when the sleepless nights are stacking up and there is no relief in sight, but in the end, I still hold her close and we fall asleep together on the couch.  I have been vomited on, peed and poo’d on, and it doesn’t bother me.  I just keep going.  I have held her close during her shots, and kissed her little boo-boo’s.

I have been doing research, and I have found that I am not alone.  This adjustment period happens to a lot of women, not just me.  This feeling of being completely overwhelmed happens to the best of them. Women all over the world experience this, and there are a lot of options out there for women, and support groups.  One helpful site I have found: Postpartum Progress

I won’t let this feeling I have inside, this anxiety of motherhood, this desire to run away from my life, inhibit my ability to be the best mom I can be.  There is help out there for women who feel this way.  There is help out there for women who feel that maybe they bit off more than they can chew in their new road to motherhood, or adding an additional member to their family.  There are a lot of symptoms to Postpartum Depression, and there is also a lot of ideas and ways to help.  Since I don’t want to take the easy way out, and just go directly on medication, I am going to start journaling both privately, as well as on this blog.  I want to feel like myself again, and journaling has helped me in the past with previous cases of depression, so I am hoping that it will help me again with this case.

This is a process, this is a move in the right direction, and I hope that I get from this process what I need.

What happened to the diet?

This is me, striking a pose, this morning. The top is from White House Black Market, and the pants and shoes are from Torrid.

Oh yeah, I was supposed to be doing a diet wasn’t I?  Not that I forgot, I just momentarily got un-motivated.  Now, I have been posting a ton of tasty, and equally not diet friendly, recipes, and nothing on diet, working out, and staying active.  I assure you, I have been watching all of my portions, and not indulging on the treats and sugary heavenly dishes I have been posting about.  I don’t know if I am any thinner, but with my new wardrobe, I feel great about myself.  I know the confidence is visible to other people as well.

Last weekend, my husband and I went out to dinner for our third anniversary.  As we were standing at the hostess podium, one of the chef’s walked up and was talking to the hostess, and the man couldn’t keep his eyes off me.  I was wearing a lovely rouched sleeveless pink top from H&M, my stiletto skinny jeans from Torrid (Seen in the photo), and an adorable pair of Sam and Libby Ballet Flats. I also was wearing my Black Layla Lace Back Cardigan from Torrid.  I don’t want to sound like he was totally checking me out {Like Oh My Gosh!}, but it did make me feel better, after all, he didn’t look absolutely disgusted with the fat girl!  He could have also been looking straight through me at my damn good-looking husband, or out the window.  {Hahahah!}

So I assure you, the diet hasn’t stopped.  I still try to go for a walk every day, and stay active.  I know my activity levels will also pick up next week when I return to work, so hopefully the pants will continue to get a little bigger.

♥ Sarah!