I have a sick baby at home, which means I have a sick day at work! It is making me want to stay home with her forever. She is acting totally normal, like her happy little self. She is coughing quite a bit and sneezing with a runny little nose. I want to stay home with her forever, because she is my little precious girl, and I want to keep her out of school where she also could have caught something not only this time, but in the future as well.
On a semi-side note, I have been battling postpartum, and it has turned into this feeling of not wanting to leave her. It is so weird, and a change from my previous feelings of wanting time apart from her. Now, especially since she is growing so much and so fast, that by leaving her at school, I am going to miss all of her milestones. It makes me want to be with her every single day, so that I don’t miss any part of her life and her development. I was so happy yesterday that she rolled over for the first time by herself, and I was home to be with her. I am so happy I didn’t miss it. My husband is a little bummed he missed it, but I took some pictures and sent them to him, so that he could at least share the moment from work.
I don’t know how I would feel if I missed her first steps or her first stab at crawling, just because I had to work in order to keep our debt on a downward trend. I know I could quit work, but I am working for a few reasons. So we can keep with somewhat of a lifestyle that we are used to, and so we can pay off our debt quicker. As much as I want to stay home with her and never return to work, I know the consequences is a much higher debt for a much longer time frame, and I would rather pay that down for another year.
I wish there was a way I could figure out how to make money with my many blogs, or even finish my book and get it published. My career of choice is one I can easily do from home, the only bad thing is, with the economy in its current state doesn’t provide for the client pool that I would need in order to afford working from home. For some reason, when the economy tanks, people are not spending as much money on Kitchen and Bath Designers, or Interior Designers for that matter. So now, I am here, blogging away and not at work.
I am sure I am not alone, I am sure there are other working mom’s who find that paying off debt is vital. I want to be able to afford to give her things she wants, and needs, and not have to scrape the bottom of the barrel, and raid the couch for change, in order to afford diapers and stuff like that. If I stayed home, that is all I could do, because we would have to sell my car to pay off some of the alleged debt, and avoid insurance gas and maintenance charges. As much as I want to stay home with her, I think it will be better for her in the long run for me to work another year…and just hope she keeps doing her little milestones at home!