Parenthood is a journey into the unknown. It’s a journey into a world of brightly colored toys and not knowing what you are doing, and hoping you don’t hurt this little human being that for some unknown reason, they let you bring home from the hospital. They say the first week is the hardest, and I am wanting to change that to the first year. They are changing so much, and you really don’t know what to expect. You are terrified about being a good parent, you don’t want to hurt or harm them, and you don’t want anything to hurt or harm them. It’s a time when Google is your best friend. You will find yourself researching baby poop to see if everything is “coming out normal”. (By the way, this is the best “Diaper Decoder” out there!) You will be researching reasons why babies cry, because you have tried everything under the sun and she is still screaming at the top of her little lungs…for HOURS!
This job isn’t for everyone! It’s a hard job, it’s a tedious job, and it’s not a job you can just go put in your two weeks notice when you realize it’s too hard. Your life really is over. I always got mad at people for warning me that my life was over, because I loved my old life before the baby. However, now that she is here, on a Friday Night, I would rather be sitting at home exploring the world through her eyes, than going out, eating an overpriced meal and going to a movie theater to see a mediocre movie with a hundred other people who insist on texting, talking, and generally smell bad. (You know I am right, how many times have you had to sit through a movie next to a guy who took a bath in cheap cologne? Or the old lady directly behind you with that signature old lady floral perfume that burns your nose as you breath it in?)
My brother and sister-in-law love their life, and refuse to have children because they love their toys and lifestyle of elaborate spending and activity filled weekends. They think I am the crazy one for giving it all up to bring this little life into the world. I sometimes wonder if they will change their mind and give my little girl a cousin to play with, but I am nearly certain they won’t. I am glad they enjoy their activities and lifestyle, but to me, family is so important, and that includes bringing new life and generations into the family.
It’s not easy, and I know it is going to get harder, because she will keep growing, exploring, and learning about the world. Life as I know it today is going to change again when she starts crawling, walking, and enters into school. She is like a falling snowball, that is getting bigger and bigger every day, and soon she will be an adult, and I will miss these days when she is an infant. She will be able to tell me all about her day in words instead of these little ooh’s and ahh’s she sings all day. I am glad she is here, even though I can’t just pick up and go somewhere anymore, and my blogging schedule is all messed up and arranged around nap time. It’s worth it to me. She is worth giving up all of it.